Apres Fini (2004)

I forgot how hot Florida gets
Sweat beads beneath my New York suit.
Shuttle bus to rental cars
Ragtop emerges from the back of the yard.

Saw-grass gives way to cypress swamp
Throw away the map; this is where I was born.
In a cinderblock shack; tin roof too hot for a cat
And when I left here I said I’d never be back.

We will be young, so beautiful and free
Après fini.

Knock at the screen door, inside the Braves score
The kids come to receive their gifts.
A Barbie, a Game Boy, a soft plastic chew toy
I give her cheek an airbrush kiss.

The boyfriend appears, muttering about queers
Diane sends him for diapers and cigs.
“Di you look great”
“I still have to lose weight.
It’s great to have you back again.

Mom know you’re here?”
“I told her I’d come.
She didn’t believe me
But she’ll see she was wrong.”
“I’ve done my best John
But now I’m done.
I can’t keep going back there
I’m not that strong.”

We will be young, so beautiful and free
Après fini.

The mailbox is filled with sweepstakes and bills.
The yard is covered in weeds.
Linen is soiled, the milk is long spoiled
The pantry is stocked with pill bottles and Scotch.

She refuses to come, says she has no son;
Just some faggot who should leave her alone,
Who left her alone with that bitch of a girl.
“Diane will come; I can go live with her.”

“Mom, you can’t stay with Di, and you can’t stay here.
Come to New York, and stay with me.
The tickets are booked; your room’s been arranged.
Come back to New York, and stay with me.”

We will be young, so beautiful and free
Après fini.

She tries pushing buttons, tries playing her cards
Tries making me angry, tries going too far.
“Mom, pack up your stuff, and save your voice.
You know, and I know, you have no choice.”

But at the end of the day, back at the hotel
I call home to talk to someone nice.
Cheers me up, wishes me luck
It’s gonna take a little more time.

In the morning I breakfast and draw a deep breath
Drive out to the house, knock on the door
She doesn’t answer, so I find the old key
Open the door, call out “Mom, it’s me”.

We will be young, so beautiful and free
Après fini.

She’s lying in bed, her face has gone grey
Eyes are open, but no pulse, no breath.
I know that it’s over, holding her hand
Crying for someone I can’t understand.

From Ballaghderreen she made her way
To a land where streets are paved with gold.
In this land she grew unhappy and old
And now she’s gone to Tir Na Nog.

Over the western sea
To Tir Na Nog
The western sea
To Tir Na Nog

We will be young, so beautiful and free
Après fini.